The wick problem

learning to love the expedition

I have this little black bag, the one I got with this outrageously gorgeous planner I bought the year before last that I regretfully never used because it turns out I like to have complete and total control over my planning and journaling and thus a simplified version of a bullet journal in a blank dot-grid notebook, one I’ve perfected for myself, of course, is truly what makes me happiest.

But I digress. This pretty little black bag has been steadfastly storing my beeswax. The chunks left over from my top-bar beehives…hives that sat empty last year and are likely to sit empty this year, as I attend to home building. (because, alas, you can do all the things…just not all at one time). As well as the melted remains of the candles I can’t pass up in the local food co-op…I mean, who can resist a sweet gnome-shaped fella with a wick coming out of his hat?

They’ve been collecting there for two years, patiently waiting until the mood struck to melt them down, strain out the bits of old wicks and debris, and pour new candles to light each morning as I sip my coffee, pull a card, and sit in meditation…which almost always begins with “hello God, it’s me Tina…” (ha, that always elicits a wee chuckle). Or when I sit down to write. Or when I have the music thumping and the lights turned low and a glass of wine in my hand as I greet the full moon.

You get the idea. I love a warm, flickering light to ground me. And if those candles are made from my very own beeswax, all the better. The layers of meaning make me giddy.

But here’s the thing. Two years ago, I made all these sweet little hive-shaped candles as holiday gifts, and delighted in giving them out. Only to find, once I lit one for myself, that the wick was entirely the wrong size — and so in minutes, the flame raced down the wick clear to the bottom, leaving a tunnel in its wake.

To say I was frustrated was an understatement. Thank goodness there are lovely humans like my Mom, who will never, ever, ever light a cute little candle for fear of marring it, and so her gift remains intact in all its glory.

I dusted myself off and researched what had gone wrong. I ordered 3 sizes of square-braided cotton wicks and left it all in the black bag.

Until this week. This week, I felt the pull to make candles again. Well, honestly, I kept thinking about all the steps (and the failing) and the mess, and kept putting it off, all the materials heaped on my counter for days. Until Tuesday, when I just started, as one does, and before I knew it, I was proudly patting the sweet little candles lined up and cooling on my counter.

That night, I lit one. Only to find, as the flame shot down the wick and drowned in the tiny bit of melted wax, that I needed to pre-wax the wick to give it some fuel to slow the burn of the wick. Gah! I began again. Remelted the wax, repoured the candles and proudly patted them…again.

The next night, I lit a new one. And watched as the eager little flame didn’t exactly race to the bottom, but could not melt the entire surface of the candle, even after two hours of heroic effort, and still created an albeit larger, tunnel to the bottom.

WTH. I mean, goodness…how hard can this be? Turns out, the most common advice I found was to test each wick with each wax, every single time. Add some essential oil? Retest. Add some coconut oil to make a wee bit softer? Retest.

And after I stopped feeling annoyed by the expedition this had become, I settled into it. After all, it’s the journey that matters. I wanted to rush right to these little candles that would light my morning, but I also wanted them to work well and efficiently, and that is worth the time to learn the ropes.

When I teach garment sewing, we often want to have effortless success, to reach the end, dust off our hands, admire our perfect new dress, and move on to what’s next. And goodness, do I get that.

But these are skills we’re developing, and they take trial and error, a mock-up or two and some hastily written notes in the margins for next time, and wouldn’t it be a joy to let that journey be the point?

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In Kinship,

Tina

Ways to connect

Sew clothes with me:
~ PatternCon in Atlanta - Aug 1- Aug 2
~ Garment Sewing Retreat on Mackinac Island - October 11th-16th. Check out all the details here.

Engage in sacred, joyful living:
~ Embodied Joy - Private, monthly, audio to take listening into living.

What I’m Loving

• This image was a major influence in my newly complete bookshelves with this wall paper in the back and a deep, sagey green paint!

• I’ve taken to pulling an herb and medicinal plant card each morning, for learning purposes and to see if there’s something to ruminate on, along with a card from my favorite oracle deck.
  

• When the snow is finally gone, I plan to have a post-birthday picnic (tomorrow’s my birthday!) and use this sweet little stove (a birthday gift several years ago) to steep the tea!